So I tasted the World of Warcrack and...

...it wasn't so good.  Here's the thing - back when I was in college one of my favorite things to do was hang out with a couple friends in the computer lab that had headphones, install Warcraft 2 and have a RTS battle session for a couple hours (or at least until people who had papers to write started getting pissed off that there were no other computers available).  Warcraft 2 was the pinnacle of Blizzard's early achievements in computer gaming, and helped them launch other ridiculously popular titles like Starcraft and Diablo.  It had a great story, a lot of depth, battles by land, sea and air, and the option to choose a dark or light force to battle with.

As a result I was rather excited when Warcraft 3 was released, especially since the artwork was rather amazing and they introduced some new races to the game.   The storyline continued, and the world of Azeroth was expanded.  I was rather fond of the Night Elves, but sadly I came to the realization that I was terrible at playing RTS games, and without friends to play Warcraft 3 with it really wasn't much fun.

Then came the announcement of World of Warcraft, which I was simultaneously bemused and attracted by.  Bemused because I have repeatedly refused to pay a monthly fee to play any online game.  Attracted because I have always liked Blizzard's artwork and style, and getting to play a single character in the world of Azeroth sounded like a lot of fun.  But I stuck by my guns after the release, and refused to let myself get sucked in.  I did enjoy the Blizzard Fanart page, and periodically read the Flintlock comic series on Gamespy.  But I never bought the game.

After updating drivers for my video card recently I saw that the driver set had come with a free 10 day trial offer for World of Warcraft.  Even then, I initially ignored it, not wanting to participate in a game that had ruined marriages, friendships, families, jobs and various other things due to its addictive nature.  But curiousity won out, and last week I went ahead and installed the game to see what the fuss was all about.

The trial installer was quick, but the download itself took several hours, so I started it before I went to bed and checked it out the next morning.  Now there were patches that would require additional hours of downloading, so I started those and went to work.  I came home, hung out with Brigitte and the girls, and after the kids started a bath and Brigitte went to lie down and watch a movie I started it up.

Initially, WoW (short for World of Warcraft) was very impressive.  The current release Wrath of the Lich King (which was not available in the trial version) apparently features an icy fortress and a dracolich that flies in, lands, roars at you and flies off while you are in the process of creating an account or signing into the game.  I had to help the kids with something so it stayed on that screen for a while, and the kids were all hyper excited about it which was rather amusing.

Finally I signed into the game, picked a server (the default one Misha was full, so I picked the nearest available Non-Player versus Player server - I really don't like getting killed by other players while trying to figure out how to play a game) and created a Night Elf druid.

What I found odd after my initial half-hour of play, was that I really didn't like the night elf village, or the other night elf characters for that matter.  I was also struck by the strangeness of running around a village populated by elves who were supposed to be in tune with nature, but initial tasks required you to kill miniature saber-tooth tigers and warthogs to gain experience points, gold and equipment.  The quests themselves were also very underwhelming - I felt as though my character was pretty much meaningless in this new world.

Somewhat dismayed I signed out of that server and jumped on a different one to see if that made any difference, and created a new character.  This time I made an undead warlock, and immediately I found the gameplay more interesting.  My character had risen from the dead inside a giant mausoleum, and was thrust back out into the world of the living, now part of a larger group of undead who had once been slaves, and were now asserting their indepedence while simultaneously plotting to rid the world of living creatures.

Bear in mind that I do not typically play evil characters, but here I was, enjoying this one immensely.  Sadly, after about an hour of play the initial fun of being part of the dark side of the Azeroth world started to wear off as I again was forced to engage in quests that had me running around killing spiders, bats, dire wolves, or other undead creatures who for some reason where not part "of the cause".  Or something.  I called it quits that night and went to bed, after spending roughly an hour and a half playing.  Bear in mind I can spend three hours in a single gaming session without breaking a sweat, so considering the number of people who go without sleep to play this game, I was doing pretty good (or bad by their perspective, I guess).

The next night I tried out the night elf ranger, and again after a relatively short period of time found the entire night elf world somewhat tiresome, so I switched back to the undead for a little while.  Elish came and sat in my lap, and she's always liked spooky things even though they tend to scare her, so she threw a temper tantrum when I shut down the game for the night.

I watched movies with Brigitte the next night, and signed in one last time to play the following evening, this time trying out the human race and picking the rogue class.  Rogue was more interesting than druid or ranger, but not as interesting as warlock.  I also was a bit dismayed when one of the initial quests was to join a hunt to kill wolves.  For a third time I jumped back to the undead character, getting her to the next town and helping her reach level 7, when I decided I had had enough.

The overall problem with World of Warcraft is precisely the same problem I have with the Diablo series.  There are lots of mini-quests to accomplish, but none of them are particularly challenging.  Now it should be noted that I did not play long enough to participate in any major quests, nor did I participate in a group, but in general I tend to avoid playing RPGs with other players that I don't know in real life.  In fact, I typically don't like playing any online games at all.  Thankfully nothing untoward happened to my characters while playing, but I had picked a safe server so that probably had a lot to do with it.

The game was pretty - I'll give it that - but you can find prettier artwork on Blizzard's fan-art page.  The character creation process was almost too simple, and the options for customizing your appearance were lacking.  The quests were too simple, and in most cases downright boring (go to the farmer's field and steal ten pumpkins, then bring them to the alchemist in Brill).  There was no driving storyline that I could detect that made me want to continue grinding away at my levels and building up gold to buy new things to wear.  There were interesting spell-casting animations, but you were forced to use the same spell so often in a single combat that they quickly became old and stale.  Hand-to-hand combat was boring to watch.  Most animations seemed off - such as the silly hand-wringing the characters would go through while opening something like a treasure chest, as if it was really difficult to lift a goddamn lid.

So before the ten day trial was even up, I uninstalled the game.  I also have absolutely no pity for any moron who ruined his or her life because of this total waste of time and money.  The only thing I will mention is that I found it very strange that when you clicked on the log out or quit button, instead of just logging you out of the game, Blizzard felt it would be better to give you a chance to click on a cancel button with a 20 second countdown, and no way to skip past the countdown.  It was as if the game was trying to keep me from leaving it - and I could see how some people would be tempted to spend "just another half-hour or so" gaining some extra experience or finishing up one or two minor quests.  I have never seen anything like this in a game before, and frankly I hope I never see it again - games are addictive enough on their own without a drug dealer standing there egging you on.

In the meantime I am now replaying Rune for the PC, which has equally good graphics even though it was released four years before World of Warcraft, and even though I've beaten it before, replaying it is easily more entertaining.  The only flaw is that you are not permitted to customize your character - but that's a pretty common flaw in video games.

So that's it - I tried it and I'll never play it again.  Bear in mind, World of Warcraft is considered to be the BEST MMORPG ever made.  But, just like Pirates of the Caribbean Online, just like Everquest, just like Ultima Online - I've tried it and I was severely disappointed.  The bottom line is all MMORPGs suck, especially when compared to other video games.  It's just too bad that people are foolish enough to pay to play them, otherwise they might be motivated to make something better.